New year, same aspiration to create a new you. December 24th, 2017.
That was the entry to a blog post I intended to finish two years ago.
Truth is, I’ve made progress throughout these past few years, but not as much progress as I would have hoped for. After having graduated college, I quickly learned I was ill-equipped for the labor market and yielding real results in a corporate environment is a stark contrast to achieving accolades in the confines of academia.
And as much as I’d like to gratuitously discuss the alienating effects of “adulting”, perhaps I should be more productive with my time. I’d like to reflect on my self-improvement journey and create a more systemized approach, ultimately sharing what works for me and what doesn’t. A personal project of sorts. A search for meaning and personal authenticity. I’ll call it Project Authenticity for now.
What Went Right in 2019
2019 hasn’t been a total failure. The strides I’ve made have been more internally focused on healing narratives that no longer serve me. I gave up goals that were exacerbating my stress and I’ve taken a keener interest in my interests. I’ve unabashedly challenged myself to ask for what I need and I’m still learning to take up space without apologizing. And perhaps the most difficult paradigm I’ve accepted, is that, outside of divinely planned events (e.g. death, taxes, people, circumstances outside of my control, etc), I’m 100% responsible for my life, my lifestyle, my attitude, my results or lack thereof. I have a lot more agency in my life, more than I’m currently exercising.
What Went Not So Right in 2019
I guess the things that did not go right are the things that I didn’t see myself realize. I, like many good-intentioned souls, note my personal goals during the Holidays. But my 2017 goals look alot like the notes I made for 2018 and quite honestly, 2019 looks no different. I failed to pursue extra-curricular activities, I failed to learn a new language, I failed to return to school, I failed to pursue a side hustle, and most disappointing of all, I failed to blog. I wouldn’t call this year a total failure. No. I would call it, a healthy respite that left me wanting a more disciplined realization of my potential. And don’t we all deserve that type of liveliness?
Why Here?
I’m sufficiently scattered with my goals that I need a linear outlet to make real progress. Hence, this blog space. This is my creative lab.
What Are My Targets?
The little things. If I can’t do the little things, I don’t know how I can handle the uncertainties when I started tackling more ambitious goals.
And What if I Fail?
More fodder for this blog. I’m rigging it to win.
What’s Next?
So here we are. An introduction to what I hope to be a year-long project of self-reflection, data-gathering, and hopefully productive content creation. I’m concluding in a rather elementary way, but for upcoming posts, I’d like to research goal-setting approaches to help me create a more sustainable goal-setting experience for myself.